Consciously Choose Your Social System
Posted: Friday, November 20, 2009
by Iyabo Asani
http://CoachIyabo.com
We human beings are social beings. Oftentimes, we forget that we are social beings. It is important to remember this, not just when there is a loss of some sort in our lives but all the time. When you are too busy pursuing your career and financial goals, you loose your ability to connect with other human beings. How are your social connections? If you work for a large company, are you aware that company is a social system? Your community is a social system and if you have a large enough family, that is a social system.
Whenever we engage with our social system our brains continuously scan for information that assess whether the person we are engaging in is a threat or a reward. If we perceive an interaction as a threat, we recoil and if perceive it as a reward, we engage more fully.
Some of us, having focused on work and career for so many years may have neglected to develop strong social skills and we end up unconsciously reacting to interactions with other people as threats.
Be more deliberate in your interactions and look for those reward experiences and enjoy them. The reward experiences create the release of hormones and chemicals in our bodies that enhance our health and well-being. The reward experiences are powerful and we want to follow the trial that they leave behind.
Within these social relationships, do not forget your intimate relationships. If you are intimately involved with someone, get physical in an affectionate way and make it part of your weekly and daily routine to incorporate touch and affection into your life. If you have a partner, reinvent your sex life! It is important.
Did you know that if a baby is not held and touched by other humans, the baby dies? What do you think happens with that when we grow up? We still need touch, physical and emotional connection. It is part of our neural wiring.
So expand your social networks. Take risks. Enjoy new connections. Experience the rewards of positive relationships. Look for those relationships across multiple dimensions. Enjoy lots of hugs and smiles. Give them and take them.
Relate with people from all age groups. Kids. The Elderly. People with Down's Syndrome. Kids with autism. Disadvantaged kids. Intellectuals. College students. Blue Collar workers. White collar workers. People outside your own race. People outside your sexual orientation.
When you stretch your social network like this, you are developing new neural patterns that reduce your brain's perception of threats and overall releases hormones of reward which include oxytocin.
Sure, it may feel too risky to develop these relationships. However, the rewards are great. There is an element of courage that you want to develop so that you find yourself thriving in any situation. Remember, you are a whole person, wonderful, full of wealth and gifts and when you engage with someone else, you get to share that component of yourself.
As you focus on your social system, you will discover that you have a renewed sense of appreciation and gratitude for the loved ones in your life. They are part of your wealth. Having a wealth of love is important to your ability to have an abundance mindset. So as you go about reinventing your life and creating an abundance mindset, enjoy the rich rewards of a wonderful, safe and supportive social system.
This article is part of a 40 page report by the author on "How to Reinvent Yourself at Midlife and Maintain Your Sanity." If you would like a free copy of the full report, please visit http://www.CoachIyabo.com
Iyabo Asani is a life and business coach. A former lawyer, she left the practice of law after twenty years and now, she helps empower smart boomers create businesses and attract abundance by discovering the gifts and talents of their Inner Genius.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Hi Iyabo. Great article. Brilliant and very insightful. Thanks for sharing this well-written piece. Best to you. ~Nenita~
Thank you Nenita!
This is the type of work that I'd use here and would recommend for others. I'm very glad that she gave a reference to the remainder of the report.Thank you Chris. So good to know you!Iyabo
A very insightful article. I am putting it in my favourites. Thank youThank you Alexis. I appreciate you.Iyabo
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